The Obama Crush

Turkey has always declared its love for the European Union (we first applied for membership in 1987 and are in an ongoing membership process that should end around the time Europe needs cheap labor for its Moon colony), but secretly, we are really only thinking about Obama.

And even though the European Parliament, the common body elected by all Europeans to pass common laws that are commonly ignored, started its four-day elections last Thursday (the one that even Europeans found too boring to attend), Turkish eyes were focused on ‘Hüseyin.'

The very same day Turkophobic parties were winning seats in parliament, Obama was delivering a speech in Egypt, charming the Muslim world with his talk of Muslims in his family, Muslims in America, Muslims in history, Muslims going to work, Muslims doing laundry, Muslims feeding the cat, etc. (possibly, though some of us, like our Prime Minister, were too busy to watch the whole thing).

Yes, Turkey has a crush on Obama:

 

This a ridiculous joke in Turkey too, but the singer has on several occasions claimed being an alien, so we just let him do what he wants…

The video was released in time for Obama’s visit here in April, where he spoke to Parliament and charmed all with talk of Turks in America, Turks in history, Turks going to work, Turks feeding the cat, etc.

Coincidentally, there was another Euro-crisis at the time with Danish Prime Minister Anders Rasmussen vying to be chief of NATO and Turkey protesting. Rasmussen had upset Muslims by not apologizing for Danish cartoons mocking Mohammed, which in the Muslim world goes over about as well as eating a live puppy on television.

But Obama came and reassured Turkey how great it was, and the issue of the mean Dane as well as Europe threatening our EU membership was forgotten.

Still, there is no reason for Europe to feel inadequate; yesterday’s headlines were all about French President Sarkozy’s disapproval of Turkish EU membership. Normally we’d feel hurt, but Obama was there, and we didn’t want him to see us cry.